How do I speak up?

I have a number of friends, not in a bragging type of way but I’ve met different people at different points in my life that are really near & dear to me.

I was always one to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself until I learnt not to… with certain people.

I have this small group of friends that I’m the “baby” of. And having come from an African background, you’ve always got to respect your elders, even when they’re a couple of years older than you are.

But this isn’t the problem, we’re friends and we treat each other with respect – as friends do. However, because I’m the youngest in the group, I constantly feel that if I say something that I want to do or something I feel, it gets shut down OR I don’t exactly know how to confront a situation.

Tbh, I have no clue if this even makes sense but.. I felt the urge to type. I need to get it off my chest.

I’m tired of having to change up my Sunday routine because (usually) one or two of my friends don’t feel it fits in their plans. I just don’t feel like I should sacrifice my time with God on a Sunday because its an inconvenience for you. Makes sense to feel this way right?

I’m not perfect, for example, every morning when I should pray, thank God for another day & read my Bible, I check my social media. It’s a flaw that I’m well aware of but a habit I’m struggling to shake. But on Sundays, as far as I’ve been alive, Sundays is my day at Church and when I decide to go and stick to a routine, it gets shaken up. THANKFULLY, I go to Hillsong so there are like 5 services, so if I miss one, there is another.

My struggle is, that I don’t understand how you can say you want to go to church again and reconnect with Christ but yet you’re coming up with excuses that “Oh there’s no parking” or “I need to get my oatmeal from Leon, Pret a Manger isn’t what I want” LIKE WTF!!!!! 

That shit really pisses me off. But I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know how to express myself in a calm manner. I don’t want to be rude, I don’t want to be hurtful. I just basically want to say, you really not going to church because you can’t park your car? *inserts meme here*



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