Brick wall; Triggered

You know when certain songs take you back to a time in your life. Well Kehlani x Niggas is that song that just reminds me that I need to build my wall back up around my heart. 

I ain’t in any mental, spiritual or physical position to be in any type of relationship. I’ve got my own issues to deal with before I start offloading onto another guy. 

The song basically reminds me that niggas ain’t shit. That I’m moving too fast when there’s no rush, I need to work on myself and move with God’s timing. I cannot afford to give my heart away for it to be broken again. 

The right time will come, so in the meantime I’ll focus on being celibate & being emotionally independent. My issue is that I love to love, I love to care and I love to share. But I won’t be doing that if it’s not my one and only. It’s not an issue, generally, I think it’s a good trait I have but if I’m being blinded, I’m bound to get hurt. I don’t want to be hurt like that again. It broke me.  But I was stronger for the right one. Hoping I don’t need to go through another heart break to be built up.. something to think about. But I mean after 3 & half years with one person I think I learnt more than enough to know myself & know what I want. Right? 😕

Anyway. Kehlani triggered this train of thought… I guess it’s good 😊 

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