My kindness is my weakness

You know the saying, “don’t mistake my kindness for weakness”. 

Well literally just now, I’ve realised that as much as I say it, I realise my kindness is my weakness. Though it should make me stronger as a person, I am a strong person but still, I am getting mistreated and taken advantage for – all because I’m kind. I look out for others before I look out for myself. 

I’m breaking my own heart. And everyone around me knows that I’m kind, I put those I love first but yet, at some point someone some time always try it. It breaks my heart because these are the same people who are quick to tell me when someone else is taking advantage but then when they do it, it can’t be seen. 

I bend over backwards to ensure people can get where they are or want to be. My back is breaking but who’s breaking it for me? I rely solely on the Lord to get me through everything, and I know it’s in his time. But it’ll be nice outside of my birthday period if people could be as giving to me as I them when it’s not my birthday. 

Deep down, I’m really sad. More time than not, I’m happy, generally, but when I think about my feelings and truly dig deep. I’m kind of sad. I’m lonely, feel like I have nobody physical to talk to. But I’m always an ear for someone else. When I try to talk to someone, somehow it turns back to them. 

I do enjoy helping others, making a difference in someone’s life. I love it. It is great. But who wants to help me, strengthen me. 

*sigh* 

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